GAMES FROM THE FROG'S BOX #12: SOMETHING

GAMES FROM THE FROG'S BOX: SOMETHING

Technical note from the hack's page:
"The recommended emulator for this hack is Snes9x 1.60, with the option Separate Echo Buffer from RAM enabled (in Emulation -> Hacks). The hack works on bsnes but a loud noise can be heard at the start of the musics.
If you really want to use ZSNES 1.51, you may need to change the "per2exec=100" to "per2exec=150" in zsnes.cfg to remove some of the slowdowns."
Figured that'd be helpful to somebody. I played it on SNES9X with that option enabled, and it worked just fine, so do that.

So! Something is a Super Mario World hack released by Yogui in 2011. It was my introduction to the world of SMW hacks, so I've been wanting to cover it for a while- though, I had to cut my teeth with The Brutal Dream first to get some practice in, lol.
Something is not nearly so wild and woolly. A lot of its stages are fairly vanilla focused with some graphical flair, but there's occasional bits of ASM present. It's not perfect- some levels are pretty rage-inducing, actually- but for the most part, this is everything I like to see in an SMW hack. Constant new ideas with the level design chops and polish to make them fun to play.

...for the most part. You'll see.

WORLD 1- THE GRAB BAG

None of the worlds have names, I just gave them some for convenience. This world is the most grab-baggy of them all, with little in the way of connective tissue between the levels on display- but that's not a knock on the stages here themselves. They range from "generic but inoffensive" to very good.
(Don't worry about the Yoshi's House, that'll be relevant much later.)

NIGHT OF SPIKES

The first level (okay, it's not the mandatory first level, but it's the easier of the two you can pick at the start) is a chill introduction to the game as a whole. Featuring amusing graphical edits (look at the adorable blocks!), the presence of the Special World enemy sprites, mixed with generally quite polished level design with a good variety of challenges. I love the chill nighttime vibes of this stage, it's very relaxing.

For example, I had no idea you could run up spikes with the ramps until now. But apparently you can.

The big feature are these enemies from Kirby's Dream Land 3, that'll stick you if you're not careful. They're not placed too meanly, however, so it's a tasteful bit of custom assetry.

Which are especially prominent at the end, where you have to leap across an ocean of spikes, on tiny platforms, while these guys are sticking you. (It's not as bad as it sounds.) On the whole, a rather chill stage, and the ideal opener for a hack.

SKULLS CAVE

The first difficulty spike in the hack and it could be the first level you come across- oh boy! The first half is going across an ocean of lava, on a single platform, while dodging blarggs, Podoboos, hammers, and piranha plants. Surprisingly a lot less menacing than it seems- I managed to finish this on the first try.

The second half, however, is a bit meaner despite not having instant death lava- mainly because of the Skull Man Chargin' Chucks, which are EVERYWHERE. Bring a fire flower or you're probably going to suffer a lot.
Aesthetically, this level is on point with all the bone theming and Skull Man's theme playing- and the sprite edits are fantastic.

I do like how the secret exit is presented- a message box in an out of the way spot, that you've got to sneak your way up into an obvious passage to get. Frankly, I've seen far more obtuse ways to present secret exits, so I'll take this, as inelegant as it may be. Plus, the text box is pretty funny.

As the message box implies, you can slip under the goal, which leads to another section of the level, full of Dry Bones and other skeletal enemies- that also autoscrolls. It's a very friendly sequence all things considered- just be careful not to get crushed.
When I first played this stage it gave me a LOT of trouble, but coming back to it now several years later? It's a nice healthy challenge, with great visuals. One of my favorite levels, and definitely the best one in world 1. Yeah, we're peaking early with this one.

PIPES 'N' P-SWITCHES

The first half of this level is sprawling- and for good reason, as it's hiding a secret exit within. At least you have the DuckTales Moon theme playing (even if part of it is slightly off-key.)

The secret exit is quite a doozy to find this early in the hack. Not only do you have to find blue and gray switches to open the path, you also have to find a koopa shell and drag it all the way back to this block to get the Yoshi out of it. (And poor Yoshi... you're gonna have to toss him in quite a few pits before this hack is through.)

And THEN, use Yoshi to get a spring, hit two MORE switches, then rush back to get the barriers out of your way while they're active. It's not a hard puzzle, but figuring out what you need to do can be a bit patience-testing. This will be a recurring theme throughout, for better or for worse.

The second half of the level, meanwhile, adds bullet bill launchers everywhere to get in your way, and is a far more linear affair. Even having to backtrack to truck two switches back and forth is generally easy to figure out.

Even the toughest part, with the crosswise Pidgit Bills, is short and breezy enough to not be too much of a hassle. I would say this level's a bit frontloaded with its difficulty, but I'd rather this than have to go through half the level to get to the secret exit. Its worst aspect is being a bit generic aesthetically, but as a puzzle stage it's quite solid.

A GHOST HOUSE

A very generic name that describes this level perfectly. It can get fairly hectic early on, though- Boos, ghostly goomba enemies, crushing spikes, and the moving holes in the floor.

This part with the narrow gaps and three-way Ghost Goomba mob can catch you if you're not careful, but that's probably the hardest this level gets.

The most creative part is this bit, where you have to platform your way up using Boos that turn into blocks while Pidgit Bills harass you, that one tripped me up a couple of times. Though I do have to call foul on the clouds in the background- those are NOT platforms.

A hop, skip, and a jump, and you'll reach the exit. It's a fine level, but it definitely won't stick in your head. But hold onto it, part of it will have a payoff later.

HAPPY HORSE BRIDGE(!)

The most notable part of the first half of this stage is that this level contains the RED SWITCH, which is only accessible by jumping off a Yoshi onto it. (Oh well.)

The second half is a bit more memorable, since you get Yoshi and have to bound across Fuzzies over a pit...

Oh, and navigate around some bouncing rocks while Koopas menace you. Still not difficult in the least.

Of course you STILL have to kill Yoshi to exit the level, since the goal is behind a wall. Dinosaurs just can't catch a break.
It may not light anyone on fire, but levels like this are like popcorn- you can't have just one. Having small normal stages like this also aids digestion with the more experimental benders.

CHATEAU DE FEU

The first castle of the game, and it's still not as difficult or interesting as Skulls Cave, sadly. But it does put in a fair bit of effort. Returning to the Mega Man theming, this castle stage is patterned after Fire Man's level, with an accompanying remix- and it looks smashing.

Podoboos abound in this fiery fortress, and fiery jets threaten to toast Mario's ass. The horizontal ones activate wickedly fast, so it's often easier to just jump over them.

A custom enemy shows up in this stage as well- flame Birdos that toss fireballs at you. Thankfully, you can just jump on them. Sadly, the level doesn't really get to flex most of these elements... the actual 'level' portion is far too short to really get anything out of its elements.

The "boss" is merely four of those Birdo enemies. You can stomp 'em in less than a minute- I would say it's the weakest boss in the game, but I'd rather take something effortless than one that's actually hellish to play. (FORESHADOWING...) 
Honestly, this level's shorter than some of the preceding levels that AREN'T castles, but it's still a fun, breezy time with some excellent theming- I just wish it was like, double the length. Then it'd be way better.

WORLD 2- ATHLETIC LAND

This world's got a lot of athletic stages with little to no stable footing, and this is PROBABLY the most consistent world in the game, IMO. Of course, this comes at the cost of most of them being kind of uninteresting... but that's not a bad thing either.

WHERE ARE MY COINS?

This level has a unique gimmick- there are 75 coins around, and collecting them opens the exit. It's a fun little scavenger hunt trying to find all the things, making sure you don't miss a block, etc.

This level also introduces another custom enemy, these frogs that bounce around- and can ONLY be killed by jumping on them, no fireballs or cape swings. They're not too bad here, but they get used in some really aggravating ways later on. Especially with the ones that have changing jump heights.

The secret exit, meanwhile, requires you to find a koopa shell and haul it all the way across the level, and instead of a keyhole, you just use it to enter a pipe. A neat solution that doesn't require you to do the entire level again. 
It's a nice li'l gimmicky romp of a level.

FUZZ TOWER

Right off the bat, this level has some eye-catching aesthetics, with its pastel blocks everywhere and Cheetahmen music. As the name implies, it's all about Fuzzies and dodging them in increasingly nefarious configurations.

As the level goes on, spiked pillars and Hammer Bros throwing Fuzzies will become increasingly more common. But the spiked pillars are VERY slow-moving, so they're more just walls than actual hazards.

I love this part with the moving platform with tons of hazards being tossed at you, it's very frantic and twitchy in a good way. (Excuse the lack of Mario, sprite flicker is a bitch.)

 The second half of the level gives you a rope on a line, forcing even tighter margins of error to dodge stuff- but you're always given just enough wiggle room so that it doesn't feel like a crapshoot.

The giant blocks spelling SOMETHING is just the cherry on top of a very good level. It's got style and substance, and pushes its gimmick in a lot of different ways.

IT'S ATHLETIC TIME

Right from the start, this level gets you moving with a Mega Mole on its way into a pit, and doesn't let up from there. These platforms with numbers that tick down are the central feature of the stage, forcing you to think on your feet and make some tight jumps to evade certain death.

Stable footing is few and far between in this stage, with even the normal platforms being sloped so you can't catch your breath, especially this bit with all the bouncing frogs.

The usage of falling platforms is especially hair-raising, since sometimes there's enemies right in the way of you and the next safe place to land- better react quick!

And the entire time, a rousing Blaster Master tune is propelling you forward. This level's short, but the platforming is oh-so-sweet. Very good stage that doesn't miss a beat.

DAT BASS (!)

As the name implies, this level contains everyone's least favorite fish enemy, Boss Bass- and he is FAST. Trip up or get too close and you'll be eaten like a pasta dish at Mario's birthday party.

Thankfully, for the first half of the level, you're mostly free of having to get up close and personal with the fish, instead being forced to dodge yet more of those pogo frog enemies.

And it's made even easier if you find the Coin Heaven bonus stage, which lets you skip right to the checkpoint. It does require taking a dip in the water to hit a block to get a shell, but no risk, no reward.

The second half of the stage adds ANOTHER giant fish menacing you, so that's twice as many opportunities to mess up. Especially with parts like this where the spring platform is RIGHT in position for them to eat you. It's still not that difficult, but still tense.

The secret exit, meanwhile, requires you to keep riding on the cloud up above- the bonus stage doesn't actually end there. After TWO coin arrows, the game good-naturedly ribs you with this sign. Lmao.

Just don't get caught by the Boss Bass on the way to the Blue Switch- a nasty little trick indeed. Great stage that makes the most out of a potentially frustrating mechanic.

BOUNCING TRAINING

This is another high-speed platforming gauntlet, featuring small moving platforms... and a LOT of bouncing enemies. Plus, this very pretty sunset background.
Pogo frogs and bouncing koopas reign supreme here, constantly getting in your way. Running under them or catching them at the apex of their jumps is the only feasible option, but it certainly keeps you on your toes.

There's also a LOT of extended sequences of bouncing off Parakoopas over pits, so stay vigilant and don't slip.

Especially when the blue ones show up and start flying in circles... 

Oh, and lava with sinking platforms to finish it off. It's another popcorn level- short, a healthy challenge, and aesthetically pleasing.

CHATEAU DE L'EAU

Right off the bat, this level makes an impression. The Chrono Trigger Ocean Palace music, the NSMB tower background, and lots... and lots of frogs.

You may have noticed by now that there's no Dragon Coins anywhere in this hack so far. That's because they're used here. The major gimmick of this stage is you have to find four Toad Coins to open the boss, but finding them is easier said than done.

True to its name, this is a water level, so movement is a bit stiff. You'll need to check every nook and cranny to find those coins, and dodge all sorts of hazards along the way.

A task made more complicated by switch blocks that raise and lower the water level, OoT-style. Keeping track of what goes where is a real braintickler, and this stage will really test your observational skills.

The trickiest part is probably finding the P-Switch late in the level and carting it all the way back to the start, but the stage is compact enough that it feels like a neat challenge instead of a sloggy backtrack.

The boss, a mustached Toad in a Wily-esque capsule, is a real test of your jumping abilities. He can't be harmed in any way except by landing on him, so you have to leap off the bouncing toads he spawns to get him. Not too tough at first...

But then he goes up higher, and tosses buzzsaws, too- you can't just chain your hits on him thanks to post-hit invincibility. It's a perfect platformer boss- there's very little waiting, and it's all about maximizing your jumping and maneuvering skills.

Basically, this is my favorite level in the game so far, and a serious contender for the best in the hack. Great aesthetics, a clever gimmick, compact yet satisfying level design, and an excellent custom boss. Lovely stuff.

WORLD 3- FOREST OF FUN

Gimmickry reigns supreme in this world- most of the stages have SOME kind of puzzle or weird custom mechanic going on to make them extra distinct. While most of them work, they can occasionally slide headlong into jank with... slightly uneven results. You'll see.

FLASHING FOREST

This level has an interesting aesthetic- vanilla grassland tiles given a sprucing by changing colors every few seconds. It's a neat way to spice up a normal tileset. The obvious path in the level actually requires that you go left instead of right, which really messes with my every sense of level design- but the challenges, using note blocks and plenty of bouncing off enemies, are as comprehensible as ever.

Yet more switch puzzles await in this stage, along with one of this hack's recurring nasty tricks- one tile wide slopes (as seen in the other screenshot). Hard to stand on, hard to jump off sometimes. They require an extra special touch to navigate appropriately.

The normal exit is fairly straightforward, with just some platforming over the aforementioned slopes. Shoutout to the crude dick drawn out of tiles, lol.

Probably the most annoying part of the level is this bit, where you have to bounce up a shell using note blocks...

Then rush back after a koopa kicks the shell, all over the sloped small platforms. It's finicky and I wish the level didn't have this, it's SO aggravating.

Thankfully, the level ends on a high note, with a Starman-powered run through a tunnel of Wigglers and Munchers. Hiccup aside, this is a really good puzzle level with some relaxing vibes- i just wish the alternate route was a bit less finicky.

HUNGRY VEGETATION

This level's major gimmick is Munchers FALLING FROM THE SKY and positioning themselves RIGHT in your way. Thankfully, they're usually far enough away that you won't jump right into one.

Also, Muncher Spinies. They don't behave any differently, but they are cute.

The level really picks up once Lakitu appears, narrowing the playing field even more by tossing Spinies everywhere. Safe ground is at a premium here- gotta keep moving before you get something landing on your head.

The last wrinkle in the stage comes from falling munchers that turn into blocks, and often VERY small platforms created resulting from this. It's kind of inconsequential, though.

Of course, when you get to the end, the ? Orb decides to play dirty and run away, forcing you to do one last bit of platforming to grab it... And then dumping you into another Starman-powered Muncher tunnel to close out the stage. It's short, but it's very quick and plays fair, which are attractive qualities to have in a full-length hack.

KINDER SURPRISE

Note that this level doesn't let you scroll the camera back to the left, for reasons that will become obvious later. The main gimmick is these eggs that move back and forth when you approach, and hatch into a lot of different things. Mushrooms, pidgit bills, other random enemies... it's the same for each egg every time, but you'll never know what's inside until you make it hatch.

The nastiest thing that can hatch out of it, though, is the fire bursts that Sumo Bros create. Thankfully, the scrolling prevents the eggs from respawning.

As the level goes on, the situations get more and more devious. The fact that the eggs move back and forth before hatching means that you have to start judging your jumps based on where they're GOING to be when they get close, and not where they actually are. It is a consistent behavior, though, so once you learn the gimmick it's not hard at all to deal with.

Even this last part, where you have to bounce off a Koopa with a cape to get over a pit, is consistent- and there's a door nearby to reset the eggs if you mess up.

I will say, the path to the secret exit is BULL. That sideways tree is a pipe, but I only found that by accident. That one could've been a bit more obvious. At least the autoscroll portion beyond is short, even if a bit spicy thanks to all the eggs flying around.
Still, the creativity and relative fairness of the gimmick make it one of the hack's most memorable levels.

THE LOST PATH (!)

Right off the bat, this level is a cut above atmosphere-wise. The fog effect, the slow super Metroid music, and the gloomy forest background... love it.

This stage is infested with ghosts, including the first appearance of Big Boo with his :3 smile. And you can bet his big self is gonna get in your way constantly during platforming.

This switch puzzle is another clever one. Having to use one is one thing, but hunting down two entirely separate P-switches in out of the way locations, in a level this treacherous... it's a cut above the ones so far.

The second half of the level is a bit more linear, with emphasis on Boo Rings to get in your way. The only really troublesome part is when you have to go into the exit pipe that a Boo Ring is directly in front of- either take a hit or have really good timing.

The problems come, though, from the secret switch exit. Now, going through the first half of the level again, completely unaltered... yeah, that's annoying by itself. Especially how slow-paced and precise this stage is. And the secret pipe is a BIT far out of view to notice naturally.

The unique part of secret exit path, though, can go suck an egg. Mario World arbritrarily changing the swimming controls when you hold an item is one thing. Making you cart a key all the way back to the surface, while three Phantos are chasing you? Especially when they maintain their momentum, OFFSCREEN, so they can zoom right into you? It's very, very annoying unless you learn how to kite the Phantos around, you're hosed.
This is my least favorite moment in the entire game so far, and it nearly sinks the rest of the level. It's not the worst moment in the game, though...

YOSU NO TERA

Welcome to Bullet Hell. This is where the hack earns its expert rating on SMWCentral. This is a level you'll either love for its audacious approach and brutal difficulty, or hate it for the same reasons. This stage is the reason I found out about this hack, and went "I have to play this."
The first room puts you in a raising and lowering tunnel, with ghost goombas moving in sine waves and a fairy spewing lasers at you from the top of the screen. Claustrophobic, yes. But not excessively mean.

Then it opens up, with more fairies spawning in, including red ones that fire more often, and these orbs that fly up or down when you get near them. Again, not too ridiculous. But the real pain is just beginning.

The second half of this stage... does THIS. Oh yeah. Navigating through enemies and hazards... with the P-balloon, with its notoriously slow and clunky physics. Oh no. Yeah. It starts relatively open, with plenty of room to dodge all the stuff flying about...

But then the claustrophobia returns, with the spiked tunnels moving up and down, and the projectile density not decreasing in the slightest. And you can only take a single hit in all of this... one screwup, and you're back to the start of this segment.

And that's not even the end of the level- the final challenge is being suspended in a small box, covered in spikes, while trying to dodge *eight-way patterns of bullets*. That change up their shape as the gauntlet goes on. WITHOUT A CHECKPOINT from the last segment. It's only five patterns, but those five are REALLY HARD TO DODGE.

A couple of them are really hard to parse the direction of visually, which means the first time you encounter these, you WILL probably die a couple of times figuring out the blind spot. And even if you KNOW where to dodge, the slow movement of Balloon Mario makes actually doing it a lot harder.
And yet! I can't bring myself to hate this level, no matter how much pain it caused me. It's easily one of the most distinctive and creative levels in the entire game. I respect the hell out of it... even if I don't like parts of it.

CHATEAU DU VENT

Compared to the last level, this castle is a cakewalk- but it's still got some nasty tricks up its sleeve, starting with the wind gimmick that blows you back constantly. Which is difficult in more reasons than you'd expect.

Namely, the fact that you HAVE to build up full dashing momentum to get over some of these gaps... and the fact that there's bullet bills flying EVERYWHERE, forcing you to dodge. 

But sometimes trying to dodge will just blow you around, possibly into a pit. I... do not like this gimmick, mostly due to how restrictive it makes your controls. However, the level portion of this stage is not that long despite its difficulty. I'd consider that a mercy- if this was a full-length stage, I'd call it one of the worst stages.

The boss, however, makes up for that in spades. Like Big Boo, you have a floor full of grab blocks to use and toss at him. The big problem is that THE WIND IS STILL THERE, making both hitting him and avoiding his attacks much harder. Especially if you get stuck in a pit of Grab Blocks.
Still, though... it's pretty easy to get into a groove once you're used to the wind physics, and he only takes five hits- but still, you will die a LOT here, and the wind just makes everything a LOT harder than it needs to be. I respect what the author was trying here, but I found it pretty frustrating- and it doesn't have the 'wow' factor of Yosu No Tera, either.

WORLD 4- SNOWSAND EXPANSE
This world has the strongest and most consistent theming in the hack- it's split down the middle between snow and desert stages, and does quite a few cool things with both settings. Sadly... there are a couple levels here that really rankle me.

OLDSCHOOL TEMPLE

According to a message box, this is a level from an unfinished hack, but you wouldn't know that from looking at it- it looks and plays quite well. The big gimmick of the level is these sloped moving platforms- thank god they don't actively make you slide down from standing on them, otherwise it'd be quite infuriating.

The really troublesome part is this bit, where you have to land on the falling platform, hit the block, THEN jump up and grab the vine. I died quite a lot here, lol.

Or this part, which is the worst moment in the level. You have to make a tight jump under this spike, but for some reason the hitbox of it can screw up your momentum and plunge you right into the pit. Though, all of those aren't too rough when you know what you're doing... but still, this  could have been polished up just a bit. At least the stage is honest about it, though.

I do have to shoutout the aesthetics- the mixture of Labyrinth Zone tiles and brown gritty elements works really well.

DESERT NOW!

This level features one of my favorite graphical edits in the game so far- Monty Moles being turned into SMB3 Marios. Genius.

As for the level itself, the major platforming gimmick for this stage is Donut Blocks, though they're not used in a threatening enough way to really keep you on your toes.

A bit more threatening, however, is this bit with the Hot Heads on the small blocks. Spin jumps are key, especially if you land on the flat of the block before they get to the top.

The most memorable part of this stage is this bit near the end, where it's just constant enemy spawns everywhere. Pokeys in your way, bowser statues jumping all around, the Mario Moles bursting out and conveniently providing easy jumping fodder to get past obstacles... it's very chaotic, but it is fun.

SO, SAND OR SNOW?

With a bouncy Kirby tune and a bright yellow color palette, this level seems fairly standard for the most part. This level is full of annoying enemies, though- Chargin' chucks and volcano plants combine to oppress your available space.

But, entering a blue pipe turns the level into an ice stage instead, complete with slippery physics. It also gets rid of the blocks in your way, which you'll have to do several times by swapping between desert and ice.

This level also features one of the most devious switch puzzles yet- running back and forth between the two halves, carting a switch while rushing under the effects of another, it's great stuff, and the difficulty is in the execution rather than figuring out what to do. Heck, the checkpoint is even hidden behind an extra step of said puzzle!

The secret exit, meanwhile, is a fair bit more obtuse. You have to jump up off a Chargin' Chuck's football, in winter, to reach this high platform near the start. That's the kind of thing that gets points off, because HOW was i supposed to see that?

At least the segment behind that isn't too brutal (shoutouts to another line of blocks reading SOMETHING), and you don't have to do the whole first half of the level again. This is a lovely stage that captures the theming of the world brilliantly.

MAZE OF ICE CUBES

A ominous yet alluring ice fortress, with music that screams "cold". As the name implies, this level is QUITE nonlinear, and you will get lost easily if you're not paying attention. It's a fun stage... the second time.
The bat enemies are reskinned to the ones from Yoshi's Island, which is very cute.

You might spend a fair bit wandering around until you find out that some of the blocks are fake- look closely, some are more blue than the others. Thankfully, it didn't take too long to figure this out, but I probably would have gotten really annoyed if I got stuck here.

Far less tolerable is noticing that you can jump above the level's ceiling with a spring, where the P-switch is held.

Basically, the challenge of this level is trying to figure out where you need to go, and then doing it in the (limited) time you have- since you have to cart the spring and switch to the same spot. It's a fine level, but a bit unfriendly to first-time players. Once you know what you're doing- or consult a walkthrough, though, it goes down a lot smoother.

PERILOUS ICE(!)

Autoscrolling and ice sounds like a nasty combination, BUT, you get Yoshi right at the start of the level, which makes it significantly more tolerable. Better get used to slurping up Pokey segments, since most of the ones in this level are too tall to jump over without a few snacks from your trusty dinosaur.
(I do love the background for this level, the icy dunes with the desert half in the background makes for a great contrast.)

The stage gets pretty hectic overall, with cape Koopas flying all about, and donut platforms that make the footing situation even worse. You don't have a second to breathe in this level, what with the slippery movement and constant hazards.

This part at the end with the flying Cheep Cheeps is ESPECIALLY nasty, since you're slipping around on donut platforms all over the place, with cape Koopas still flying in and forcing you to dodge- probably right into the fish.

Reaching the normal exit is already spicy enough, but the exit for the Green Switch takes it up another notch. You NEED to keep Yoshi... for the WHOLE stage. Even past the checkpoint. if you lose him and then hit it, you're screwed and have to beat the level AGAIN to have another shot. Better keep a save state!

Aside from that hiccup, this is a great level. It's spicy and slippery, but not in a way that's excessively frustrating, and giving you Yoshi provides a fair bit of room for error- a commodity more rare than you'd think in hacks.

CHATEAU DE LA TERRE

Easily the toughest fortress stage yet... and not for good reasons. Chateau de la Terre pulls out all the stops. Buzzsaws, spiked logs, crushers... it's all here, and all prepared to ruin your day. 

The Crushers especially are really annoying depending on where you are in the level, as there may not be a convenient space to dodge them. Patience and a bit of luck is the key- take your time through the stage, and the crushers'll be much more manageable to deal with.

The parts involving fences are particularly nasty with this, as you're much slower there, and if the spiked balls don't cooperate, you can really get put in a tough situation. 

Seriously, look at HOW CLOSE THIS IS. It's a bit too (seemingly, i know they appear in front of you) random and unfair for my liking, honestly... and then there's the boss.

This. This is the worst boss in the game. This is the worst version of Big Boo I've ever seen. It is AWFUL.
If you drop any of the grab blocks, you die, because you won't be able to kill the boss. If you miss the jump, you die. If you get unlucky with the crusher coming down on your head, you DIE. And every time you hit Big Boo, you have to WAIT around for him to become vulnerable again, which leaves you open for more deaths!
The block on the top right is especially maddening, since you HAVE to jump on the grab block on the bottom right to reach it. If you grab it early? too bad.
And the Big Boo having an enormous, annoying hitbox that's too large to dodge around consistently, and too awkward to spin-jump off in a room this small... this fight is terrible.

This fight feels like something out of a Kaizo stage, and that is not a good thing in this case. It may be short, but I think this part killed me more than most of the rest of the hack COMBINED. Yes, more than Yosu No Tera's final room. And at least that had creativity and novelty, and easily being memorizable on its side. This part deserves to be save-scummed to death.

WORLD 5- BALLSER'S DOMAIN

This world only has three levels in it, but they are DOOZIES, a perfect gauntlet for the finale of the hack. Saying much else would spoil them, so let's get into it.

HASARDOUS HOUSE (sic)

What this level lacks in interesting visuals, it makes up for by the inspired choice of DANCING MAD as the background music. The custom asset here is ? mushrooms.. that do random things. And unlike Kinder Surprise, they are NOT predetermined by position in the level, so don't pick them up. they might explode on you or worse.There are NO other powerups in the level, by the way, so you're on your own.

Anyway, the architecture in this level is wild, with entire sequences made out of nothing but stairs, with all the slipperiness that implies.

Or, for example, dodging around lines of boos in extremely narrow hallways. This can be pretty tight if you're Big Mario, and still a little squirrelly even if you're small.

Or a little sprinkling of troll invisible blocks (that are NOT over a pit, thank god.)

The last part of the stage is quite nasty, with tiny sloped platforms over lava, all while dodging ghosts. It's tough, but pretty fair all things considered- a worthy opener to the final world.

PAIN FORTRESS

Oh boy. here we go. When the level STARTS with making an absurdly large jump, with crosswise Pidgit Bills... yeah, it's gonna be a fun time. The 2nd movement of Dancing Mad playing here is a nice touch, feels like a natural transition from the previous stage.

The death-defying stunts continue from there with careful spinjumps off Torpedo Teds, for surprisingly long distances- all while Bob-Ombs and Pidgit Bills continue to harass you. Having a persistent tracking hazard like this is handled far better here than it is in, say, Chateau de la Terre, since the bullets are far easier to dodge consistently and take up much less of the screen.

Those jumps with the moving platforms can get REALLY intense, though. They're so far off the screen sometimes that it verges on being blind- unless you scroll the camera far enough that you can see them. Either way, patience and timing with the Pidgit Bills will win the day.

The second part of the level is an underwater gauntlet full of buzzsaws and spikes, where the water raises and lowers around you. Thankfully, the Pidgit Bills are not present, and all of the hazards are perfectly navigable in the water.

This Torpedo Ted section is a bit hairy, though. Especially with how fast they are, and how narrow the space you have to dodge is- but it's over pretty quick.

Only NOW, though, do you get a checkpoint after two courses of death. And the fun's not over yet! Now you have a snake block segment with all sorts of stuff being tossed at you, including the crosswise Pidgit Bills. Of course, with careful jumps it's easy to get ahead of the snake block...

Except, you'll run into this if you run too far ahead. So maybe don't be so hasty.

This last part is especially tense with how tight the space is, the Hot Heads in your way, all while those birds are still blasting at you while you wait for the snake blocks to clear away...

And at the end of it all, one final spinjump on a missile while the birds continue to blast away. This part is easier than it looks, but it's still hair-raising after the preceding gauntlet.

This level is tough as nails and quite long for how fraught with danger it is, but I respect the hell out of it. It plays mostly fair, and it's got some really fun challenges to carefully manipulate your way through.

CHATEAU FINAL

The final level, and it does not disappoint. I think Pain Fortress is a bit more consistent, but it's still good on its own. Once again we have another movement of Dancing Mad here to continue the trend. The first room is relatively simple- just some tricky jumps off Pidgit Bills to reach higher platforms.

Next, a long ascent up a tower full of blocks, ripe for a Magikoopa to turn into random shit to mess you up. Don't try to spin-jump past the Thwomps... I did that and fell all the way to the bottom like an idiot.

Third, dodging past Mechakoopas- or mechaturnips, apparently- while slipping past Rotodiscs. Oh, and using those enemies as impromptu platforms to get across spikes- make sure not to get caught off guard when they randomly turn around!

Fourth, is an autoscrolling segment upwards while dodging around fireballs and mechakoopas in narrow hallways. Spinjump is your friend.

Finally, at the very top of the castle, you have the boss... BALLSER!!! Yeah, this guy is a joke. All he does is walk back and forth, with easily dodgeable spiked balls he tosses at you.

Though, as you progress, he starts adding new tactics, like jumping. or flying with wings... but he's still not that hard, honestly. I'd call him an anti-climax, but... well, given the Big Boo in world 4, i'll take an easy yet fair boss over that. And he is pretty funny.

And now, you've finally found the plot of the game. Rejoice! Of course, that's not all there is... the SPECIAL WORLD awaits!
Oh boy.

SPECIAL WORLD- RAINBOW OF PAIN

... oh boy, this world. This is a bit of a mean one, and not in a good way, either. Most of these levels are pretty creative... but the gimmicks do NOT work here as well as they did elsewhere.

Once you've hit all the switches, the SPECIAL WORLD is accessible from the starting house- just collect the orb, and let the victory animation carry you across the multicolored blocks.

A DAY IN SPACE

It's probably not a good sign that I think this is one of the best levels in the world despite it being the first one.
Despite the name, there are no space physics here. Instead, it's a (mostly) chilled out platforming session with lots of single-block platforms and swings.

There are some sweat-worthy parts, like this bit with the lines of blocks under a narrow passage of Munchers, but those are over and done with relatively quickly.

This bit here with the Chargin' Chucks on small platforms looks intimidating, but they'll hurl themselves to their doom as soon as you get close. Good riddance, losers.

But by far the level's biggest highlight is this bit right here. This flying platform will take you up and down in a slow zigzag motion, all while subtly placed spikes and koopas get in your way. It's slow and gives you plenty of time to react, but actually executing it takes more skill than it seems.

Overall, this is a really good introduction to the Special World- a decent challenge, but nowhere near as ball-breaking as some other moments in this hack... like most of the other levels in it.
Buckle up.

INTESTINAL PROBLEM

This level's inside some mysterious organism, with bones everywhere. Plus, these custom Metroid enemies... that are a REAL kick in the teeth if they latch onto you when you're trying to jump, since they stick you to the ground! The only way to get rid of them is to mash the jump button... but that's likely to get you killed.

There's also a LOT of ridiculously far jumps- you COULD time spinjumps on the Podoboos for some of these, but it's easier to just make the jump yourself... EXCEPT FOR THE ONE PART WHERE IT IS REQUIRED, which is a bit mean.

Also, using those Metroid enemies, on platforms floating in lava, right before you need to jump off? Also not great, since you're likely to jump too hard, knock the thing off, and fall right in the lava!

Or this bit, where there are only single block platforms. With dry boens on them. And the stupid metroids, that force you to mash the jump button... while standing on an enemy that comes back to life.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of these enemies at all- they just make things more difficult in ways that feel quite unfair. If it didn't take SO MANY jumps to dislodge them, or you could actually kill them through other means, they'd be a lot more fair.

To add insult to injury, at the end of the stage there's a flying 1-UP immediately after you get snagged by another Metroid. Yeah, this level is... not good. At all. Those metroids could be cut out of it and the level would be significantly improved... and this isn't even the first time a level's brought down by one rotten custom enemy, either.

PUNCHES ON COLD ICE

The gimmick of this stage is simple. These punching enemies? They'll send you flying like a catapult if they punch you, and this is necessary to get over some gaps. Not a bad gimmick in theory... but it is REALLY not explained well. To get the maximum distance, you have to be holding the jump button, and NO directional buttons whatsoever.

Not to mention, that you will KEEP going forward for a while until you hit a wall, which exploited in one part unless you precisely judge the spot at which you get punched. Which you cannot SEE ahead of time, and is basically trial and error.

Also, the punching enemies get used later to just get in your way, where they're likely to knock you into a pit by accident. Yeah. This level... I respect the idea fo the gimmick, but it's inconsistent at best, absolutely frustrating at worst. I don't have much else to say about this stage, because these enemies are all that's in it, really.
Not a good level at all.

HAPPY EXPLOSIONS

Thankfully, this level's gimmick is a lot less jank than the last two. The enemies explode- that's it, easy to see and understand. Just stay away from them at all costs, and you'll be fine. 
I do love the aesthetic of this stage, the green sky is very nice to look at.

Where it starts to fall apart is using NON-exploding boos along with regular ones. It doesn't happen often, but it's very disorienting when it does.

The Thwomps explode as soon as they hit the ground, so no spin jump skips for you. That's fine- but some of them go sideways, and that's a bit annoying since there's no obvious tell for that.

I do like this moment where you have to get the Thwomp away from you by having it slide up the slope as it goes sideways (even if it killed me the first time.)
Overall, this level is simple, but it's a nice challenge... even if I do think some of it could have been conveyed a little better. Once you know what you're doing, it earns its Special World spot for the uniqueness of it.

B GHOST HOUSE

See, THAT'S why that one level is called "A Ghost House", hahahahahahahahaha- oh dear.
Yeah, this level has a NASTY visual obstruction with this black fog. You can't see JACK in here, so you'd better remember the layout of A Ghost House... except it's worse, because it's firing bullet bills from the sides of the screen, the entire time.

The holes in the floor are really annoying with this. At least it's only the first room of that other level... I respect the gag. I do not respect this level.

ONLY WATER LEVEL

Okay well that name's a misnomer- oh god it's the angry sun. Yep. the ANGRY SUN... in a water level, with sluggish movement. oh dear. It's not as bad as it sounds, I promise.

I do love the Rip Van Fishes here having hearts over their heads. They have a crush on mario, hazard to his life be damned. Go for it, girls! Even if they're annoying to dodge around with how cramped this stage is.

Less charming, however, are these bits with the extremely low tunnels, which are prime territory for the Sun to whack you. I do like this part, though- hiding in the little alcoves to dodge the Sun is a creative use of him.

I swear, seeing the Porcupuffers here gave me a shock, before realizing that they'd just float up and past me. A neat little dodging exercise to vary things up before the goal.
Overall, I really liked this level, it had a nice variety of challenges while not being too jank about them. Even if the Rip Van Fishes could get pretty annoying to dodge.

VERTICAL CHAO

(I think he left the S off the level name.) When a level starts like THIS, you know it's going to be a rough time. 

And it is- you're confined to this tiny platform, right here, forced to dodge all manner of shit coming from the right while Touhou music plays. Somehow, though, it's easier than Yosu No Tera because you have good movement physics.

There are parts where you'll need to get off the platform and run to get back on it, though- those can be a bit hectic.

And this bit where you have to carefully position yourself between the spikes- not hard, but very tense. This level's awesome- very creative with its challenges, while being pretty much jank-free. I love it. I only don't have more to say about it because it's so short.

HELL SHIP IN SKY

This level can be a real pain in the rear, and it's all because of this special type of Pidgit Bill that moves back and forth, homing in on you the entire time. If you don't kill those guys as soon as they show up, they are a ROYAL pain to deal with. So of course, the game forces you to engage with them by having to bounce off them to get over walls.

Thankfully, most of the time you can outrun the annoying birds- and that's the only real way to get through most of this level.

It only gets more hectic once the Lakitu shows up. Can't jump on him cause of his helmet, so all you can do is run and pray. Thank god this level's short, otherwise it'd be a LOT more frustrating. As it stands, though, it's a tense little obstacle course.

If the Special World ended with this or Vertical Chao(S), I'd consider the game ending on a high note... but, sadly, it does not end here.

THE LAST SPECIAL

...yeah, this is not good.
This is a rematch of all five bosses, except you have to do it all in one run... with no checkpoints. YEAH. Including the Kaizo Big Boo of world 4, in all its unholy glory. At least the last movement of Dancing Mad finally puts in an appearance.

The only snippet of actual level is mostly difficult thanks to this jump at the beginning... 

Oh, and constantly putting fire jets and Sumo Bros next to each other, which makes slipping between them VERY difficult given A- how long the fire the enemies make lasts, and B- the abruptness of the horizontal fire jets.

The first boss is exactly the same, aside from the shape of the fence, but the SECOND Boss is made far more aggravating by this stupid pit in the middle of the floor. The pogo frogs will just slip down in there, making it damn near impossible to get an opportunity to hit the boss! Ironically, he gets easier when he flies up, because then it's not such a tight fit between him and his projectiles.

The third boss is exactly the same again aside from having less Grab Blocks in his arena, but the Big Boo is EASIER thanks to the blocks no longer being in ridiculous positions... even if one of them is in a spot where you'll fall right into the pit if you grab it.

Ballser is exactly the same, outside of his arena background being different. And that's the end of the Special World!

Yeah... yeah, this level is not good. For one, why is there only one themed level segment instead of one from all five castles? It seems strange, because the one that was there was good. It feels like the hacker ran out of time and just slapped together a thing for the final stage, which is a bit disappointing. Especially since there's NO CHECKPOINTS in all of this. At all. Yech.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well, this hack was certainly Something. (LAUGH TRACK)
No, but really. There are some real standouts in here- Yosu No Tera is one of the most memorable levels I've seen in a ROMhack, and Chateau de L'eau, Vertical Chao and Pain Fortress aren't far behind. And even the less individually memorable levels are short and breezy enough to feel like individual chips in a bag- you can't have just one.
I'd be lying if I said this hack couldn't get frustrating on occasion. That world 4 boss is really awful, and the Special World is mostly full of janky duds... but the rest of the hack is still in fine form. If you want a weird and generally reasonable time, I'd say check this one out. Just don't be afraid to use savestates for some of the really aggravating parts.
Thankfully, this hack has a sequel, SOMETHING ELSE, that I will be covering eventually. It's bigger, better, and much more polished.

TOP 10 LEVELS IN THE HACK
I figured I'd list my favorite levels in the hack, since there's so many standouts.
SKULLS CAVE
FUZZ TOWER
CHATEAU DE L'EAU
KINDER SURPRISE
YOSU NO TERA
SO, SAND OR SNOW?
PERILOUS ICE
PAIN FORTRESS
A DAY IN SPACE
VERTICAL CHAO

GAME LINK: https://www.smwcentral.net/?p=section&a=details&id=29548

Shoutouts to Raocow's playthrough for some of the screengrabs!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilDQsLwmtB0&list=PLgDMdsdtqKDvAS_6NwHOQ8TkCPQtBqd38&index=1